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Showing posts with the label job hunting

1996, the best year in movie history, pt. 75: Clockwatchers

Four office temps, clockwise from top-left: Paula (Lisa Kudrow), Jane (Alanna Ubach), Margaret (Parker Posey), and Iris (Toni Collette, in her wallflower mode).


Here’s the office manager: Barbara (Debra Jo Rupp).


And for kicks: Art, the weirdo in charge of the supplies.


The standouts are Margaret and Barbara. Margaret is the most spirited of the temps. She’s the quickest to criticize the company. Her clothing mocks the “business casual” style.



Barbara is evil. She’s a stock character – think of Prof. Umbridge, of the Harry Potter series. But don’t we all know someone like this, so sugary, so cruel? The niche fills itself.

There’s no glory in landing a mid-level job in this corporation. Look at Barbara; look at Art (I haven’t even mentioned the loathsome Bob Balaban character). Who in his or her right mind would aspire to that? This only makes the temps’ plight more poignant. They long for permanent employment. They’ve clocked in and out, for years, for this or that company. Some have worked diligently; others, not so much. It has made no difference either way. For them, “tenure” is beyond reach, as if by unspoken decree: These four shall not be gathered in. Permanency, at least at the level just above temp-hood, is for the Arts and Barbaras of this world: mediocrities’ mediocrities. If you’re female and dowdy (Iris), desperate (Paula), old-fashioned (Jane), or clever (Margaret), that elevator is closed. If you’re incapable of titanic complacency, the elevator is closed.

The four temps may not be happy with this state of affairs, but at least their common plight makes them friends.

Their comradery is tested when another young woman joins the company to do permanent secretarial work.


The temps are baffled. This new worker (Helen FitzGerald) is evidently dowdy, desperate, and old-fashioned (her cleverness is impossible to gauge; she barely speaks). How did she get the job?

A spate of thieving begins in the office. The higher-ups suspect the temps. They ask who else would be poor enough to resort to stealing, as if money were the sole incentive.

The temps suspect the new worker. Then, as the mystery drags on and this new uncertainty compounds their chronic anxiety, they suspect each other.

I’ve seen it written that Clockwatchers, unlike most movies, is about what work is actually like. That must be qualified. It’s less about what goes on at work than about temporary employment as a state of mind. The “work” in this movie is stylized. The workplace is overly sterile. The walls are too bare. The muzak is Les Baxter – only the blandest Les Baxter (no Ritual of the Savage). The workers swivel in their chairs a little too demonstratively, stare a little too hard at the clock, abuse the office supplies a little too grimly. (White-Out becomes nail polish; markers are used to induce chemical highs.) That’s no knock against the movie, which doesn’t aspire to realism on the physical level.

What isn’t stylized, what’s brutally accurate, is what the limbo between non-work and permanent work feels like. The longing for security, for inclusion, is warping. Is it more warping than the low-level insiders’ determination to keep the outsiders out? Perhaps not. But this movie is about the outsiders, not the insiders. It’s about those who don’t just watch the hours. They also watch the clock measuring one’s prospects of attaining the lowest level of “success.”

The same thing happens in universities. There are permanent faculty, who, ideally, form some sort of community; permanent staff; and temporary workers: adjuncts and tutors, who are pretty well out in the cold.

I was a university temp for seven years. (I don’t count the previous seven years of graduate study, which was genuine apprenticeship. The grad school timeline is more definite, and its occupants are treated as honorary community members.) I enjoyed good relations with my fellow temps, especially in the last three or four years. Actually, no, I enjoyed good relations with the writing tutors. There was another group tutors whose misbehavior, like the petty thievery in the movie, became a consuming distraction. I didn’t blame them so much as certain higher-ups who seemed wilfully oblivious.

But enough about me; that time of my life is over. The point is, the movie resonates.

Mo Farah; strolling; July’s poem

Here is stunning news concerning one of the world’s great athletes:

“Sir Mo Farah reveals he was trafficked into the UK using another child’s name.”

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

Today’s weather was on the cool side. I did two strolls of forty-plus minutes: one with Daniel and Samuel, and one with Daniel, Samuel, and Karin.

Samuel now owns a pair of sunglasses that he wears during his strolls and car rides. When he wants to leave the house, he puts on his glasses and asks to head out to “the church” – his all-purpose term for the store, the park, etc.

Daniel’s head flops around too freely in the stroller. Today’s first stroll put him to sleep; he leaned forward, his head dangling over his chest. His little legs seem to have been sunburned.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

This month’s poem, by Kate Bush, is “Wow.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
We’re all alone on the stage tonight
We’ve been told we’re not afraid of you
We know all our lines so well, uh-huh
We’ve said them so many times
Time and time again
Line and line again

Ooh, yeah, you’re amazing
We think you’re incredible
You say we’re fantastic
But still we don’t head the bill

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Unbelievable!
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Unbelievable!

When the actor reaches his death
You know it’s not for real: he just holds his breath
But he always dives too soon, too fast to save himself
He’ll never make the screen
He’ll never make the Sweeney
Be that movie queen
He’s too busy hitting the Vaseline

Ooh, yeah, you’re amazing
We think you are really cool
We’d give you a part, my love
But you’d have to play the fool

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Unbelievable!
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Unbelievable!

We’re all alone on the stage tonight
We’re all alone
On the stage
Tonight
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I’ve had job interviews like this one.

Good and bad things

Another blessing for the quarantined:

“90 Classic Looney Tunes Cartoons You Can Watch Right Now.”

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

Alas, the economy is wrecked. Tuition-dependent higher education is wrecked, or will be. Job prospects in my field are wrecked.

I’m sad that, on Monday, Karin will return to her job. It’s been wonderful to have her at home. But I’m grateful that she’s employed for the foreseeable future.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

I’m glad I didn’t land any of those nine-month “visiting instructor” jobs I applied for last year. Not only would I’ve had to endure a disruptive spring term, but Karin and Samuel and I would’ve been forced to self-quarantine in a strange college town, in some dinky, overpriced apartment. I’m glad we live rent-free in an unmortgaged house owned by my parents. We pay property taxes and utility costs, but they’re quite bearable.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

We do have some onerous maintenance to do (in addition to what was predictable). Our front yard seems to be at the end of a wind tunnel. It captures a lot of trash, which we spent much of this warm day picking up.

We left Samuel bundled up on the porch so he could watch us. The wind still got to him, though, and he was displeased.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

On Thursday, I enjoyed a video conference with Josh, a dear school friend with whom I hadn’t talked in many years.

Last night, Martin’s parents contributed some home-cooked meals.

Today, our friend Sarah stopped by to give us some children’s books, as well as protective masks that her husband, Brandon, had bought for us at the Farmer’s Market.

Beethoven at bedtime

Our flimsiest bookcase is in the bedroom. Should Mishawaka’s earth shake at night, I’ll be pummelled by the novels of Dorothy Sayers. Some of them – The Five Red Herrings, Have His Carcase, Gaudy Night – are rather large.

(Josephine Tey’s books also are on the highest shelf.)

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

Less bulky but also forceful is Beethoven at Bedtime, which Karin & I play to lull Samuel to sleep. On a good night, he’ll lose consciousness by the third track, “Piano Concerto No. 5 in E Flat Major” (which I know from Picnic at Hanging Rock).

This evening, however, he protests through most of the album. Karin turns on the “mood” light. I know that trick, too, protests Samuel, and he bleats all the louder.

And then something appears hilarious to him. He laughs and laughs.

Finally, he sleeps to Joe Baker’s Sound of Summer Rain.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

I continue to apply for work (usually after Samuel has gone to sleep). My current effort is directed toward a college in Nevada. The campus has three regular faculty and twenty adjunct lecturers. Onsite teaching is done after hours in a high school building. I would be delighted to get this job.

Events of the weekend

Friday night, we had quite a rainstorm. It was loud and flashy and lasted several hours. Jasper and Ziva hid.

Karin took this video from our living room window:


The next day, when Karin & I went to the zoo, hardly anyone else was around, what with everything so wet. I’m glad we waited until this weekend to use our free tickets.

One of the lions was in fine form:


Tonight, Karin’s dad bought us chicken wings for Karin’s birthday:


The two youngsters in the photo are Julian, Karin’s stepbrother from one of her dad’s previous marriages, and Lily, Karin’s sister.

It seems Karin & I won’t be moving to Muncie. I was notified of my rejection this morning.

Ill and pregnant and ill and pregnant and ill (and a trip to Muncie)

Karin has been ill since the weekend, with symptoms of cold and fever. She began feeling especially poorly on Saturday after we completed a six-hour parenting class. She rested all of Sunday and returned to work on Monday.

On Tuesday, after seeing a doctor, she felt well enough to go with me to Muncie, Indiana, about three hours to the southeast, so I could interview for a job. Afterward, we toured the town to get a clearer idea of what it’d be like to live there. We saw the fringes of Ball State University; Muncie Central High School, which lost to Milan High School in the famous Indiana High School Boys Basketball Tournament of 1954; numerous statues of a Native American warrior; and occasional references to Garfield, which is set in Muncie (its cartoonist, Jim Davis, is from that region). We also became very familiar with the scenery between Muncie and South Bend.

Our son behaved normally through all of this. Karin & I received no indication that he was silently experiencing Karin’s illness. (This evening, watching House, M.D., we were reminded of that possibility when we observed Hugh Laurie try out a medicine by inducing a migraine in a comatose patient.) Our boy’s organ systems have developed about as much as they will inside the womb. Now, he’s putting on fat and enjoying a few more days of peace.

Job hunting, pt. 3.14

I had a bizarre series of interviews with a certain company.

On Wednesday, I met with some of the company’s top people about job X. You are a very strong candidate, they told me. We will certainly consider you for this job. But would you mind also being considered for jobs Y and Z?

All right, I said.

On Thursday, I got a call. My résumé had been passed on to the director of job Y. Would I come in for an interview on Friday morning?

All right.

(It was good that Mary had helped me to choose two sets of interviewing clothes.)

During the interview for job Y, I was told I was overqualified. Something like job Z would be more suitable, and it would pay better. Would I like to go to the highest floor to meet the very top person in the company? He’d seen my résumé and asked to be introduced to me.

OK.

The very top person was in a meeting with other top people. I was ushered into their presence. The very top person leaped up. What sort of work would you REALLY like to do?, he asked.

I told him.

The very top person turned to one of the other top people. Do we have any jobs like that available?

Yes. Z-1 or Z-2.

Would you like to go down to Human Resources to start the paperwork?, the very top person asked me.

Yes.

(This last interview took less than a minute.)

The director of job Y took me downstairs to the human resources department, congratulated me, and went away to continue interviewing candidates for job Y. After a while, two human resources workers appeared.

Yes?, they said.

I’m here about either job Z-1 or job Z-2.

Those jobs are not available.

But this person, that person, and the other person said they were.

Well, they aren’t. Perhaps you would be interested in [other job]?

I’d have to think about it, I said. I left the building. I felt like I’d just passed a series of complicated video game levels only to come back out in level 1.

That afternoon, I had a phone interview with a different company located out of town. It lasted fifteen minutes and was much more straightforward. It was about whether I could do specific tasks, not what would satisfy my innermost longings.

I hope to find out early next week whether I’ve made the first cut.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

I wish to thank Karin for going online and figuring out how to tie a Windsor knot for me. In five minutes, she accomplished what I’d been trying to do for about an hour.

That isn’t all she’s figured out how to do. Some fruit flies have infested our kitchen. Karin went online and learned how to build a trap for them. She used a jar with an old banana peel in it.


As you can see, the flies have been trapped in the jar, but they’re doing better than ever. Karin, out of tenderness, has refused to put immobilizing dish soap in the jar. Now the flies are enjoying their fruit and each other, and they’re making children. In effect, as Karin’s friend Nora put it, Karin has built a fruit fly love nest. From time to time, a fly escapes the jar.

Back to the salt mines

On Sunday, we attended a large, Amish-style meal for the birthday of Karin’s grandpa. Then, yesterday, we entertained visitors from noon until five. We liked those visitors, but it was a tiring conclusion to the weekend (what with our sitting in chairs all those hours).

Now that Labor Day has ended, the real labor must begin.

No, not the kind that produces a child. That can wait another month. What I mean is, tomorrow I’ll have another job interview – the fifth one of this job search (I guess I’m not so impressive in the flesh).

Tonight, Karin & I went to our church’s small group meeting. One of the children who’d tagged along volunteered to pray for us:

“Dear God, I pray that John-Paul gets hired so that he and Karin can have lots of money to buy things for the baby.”

Mary took me to the store to help choose some clothes for tomorrow’s interview. After I brought them home, Karin realized that the security tag was still attached to one of my new shoes. She spent an hour figuring out how to pry it off without spilling ink everywhere (that’s what the tag is designed to do to shoplifters). I offered to help, but she was intent on doing it herself.

She watched YouTube videos about how to pry it off with a couple of forks. In the end, she managed with a flathead screwdriver, the claw of a hammer, and some pliers.

Irritating noises

The fount of college teaching jobs for this year has pretty well dried up – as it should, since most colleges will begin instruction in two, three, or four weeks.

I continue to apply for some full-time jobs that trickle out. (I can’t move my family across the continent to take up a part-time post.)

I’ve tried advertising myself as a hybrid laborer who could do some full-time combination of clerical work and adjunct teaching. No dice. Colleges want specialists, and they don’t want to pay benefits.

I’ve also been applying for college advising jobs and jobs with the public library. I’m having trouble imagining how to go about finding any other sort of job, except the kind you do in a grocery store.

(But wouldn’t a job like that also be part-time, and, therefore, inadequate?)

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

Half Price Books is opening a store in Mishawaka. I love Half Price Books.

I think I’d be delighted to work there, even on a half-week schedule.

Unfortunately, the store won’t open until after my son is due to be born, by which time I’ll need to be collecting paychecks.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

I was about to post another YouTube video of a techno song – there was almost no time left to write today’s entry – but I dug deep and found things to complain about.

Here is the song, nonetheless.

More of the same

Only mundane things to report.

I was interviewed on Saturday morning for a job teaching philosophy, and my interviewers said they’d let me know the outcome by this Friday.

I’ll also have a local interview – for a job not in academia – this Wednesday morning.

A baby’s car seat arrived at the apartment today in an enormous box. It was a gift from my parents. Jasper and Ziva are very interested in the box.

Karin thinks I have sleep apnea, and I must admit I have many of the symptoms and risk factors.

Still unemployed

Little Ada is home from the hospital and in good health.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

These days, due to my online activity, I get lots of job hunting-related spam through email and Facebook.

This ad came in about five minutes ago:


Despite the caption, there’s only one generation in this photo, it seems to me.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

Somewhat unexpectedly, I’ll have a Skype interview this Saturday morning. The job ad didn’t specify a salary, so I went looking in the government’s database to find out what I might expect to earn (the yearly salaries of all public employees are listed online, for transparency’s sake).

One thing led to another, and I ended up searching for lots and lots of people’s salaries. It’s taken most of the evening.

My own earnings from IUSB are online, which, previously, they weren’t. So now you can look up how much money I made last year.

Eminent historians

Staying at home while Karin goes to work is just terrible. Oh, I have job applications and other writing projects to do. But most of the day, I’m bored out of my brain.

I’ve also been too restless to read much – from print sources, that is. Somehow, the computer screen keeps me glued to it all day.

I’ll mention a few recent readings and then be done.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

My dad linked to this article by Gregory H. Shill in the Atlantic about how U.S. law unjustly favors driving. The article is a condensed version of this much longer paper, also well worth a look.

(There was a time when I wanted to write a philosophical polemic against driving, or at least against law that encourages it, but I doubt I could improve on the work of Prof. Shill.)

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

On a totally different subject, the eminent British historian Richard J. Evans has published, in the Guardian, a savage obituary of the eminent British historian Norman Stone.

A student of Stone’s replies here, and the Spectator, while not exactly disagreeing with Evans, defends Stone here.

Long ago, Stone himself published a savage obituary of the eminent British historian E.H. Carr in the London Review of Books. Here is a quotation:
In 1961 [Carr] delivered six lectures to [his Cambridge] Faculty on the theme ‘What is History?’: it may count as his most successful book, for there is a keen appetite in schools for this boring subject, and the paperback volume is frequently reprinted. It is probably as much a mistake to ask a working historian to discuss this theme as to ask a painter to give his views on aesthetics. Carr had not much more to offer than a version of Fifties progressivism: history teaches respect for the present, or, better still, the Soviet present. In places, it read like a Marxist 1066 and All That. It does, however, begin well, perhaps even brilliantly.
I have a copy of What Is History: it has always vexed me that I don’t know what history is. I also have Evans’s In Defense of History, because I don’t know what history is for.

Stone may or may not have been right that a working historian isn’t especially able to tackle the philosophical questions. But I wonder if his own refusal to tackle them was, fundamentally, what divided him from those he criticized and who now criticize him.

Out of work

I’ve ceased tutoring for the summer. Now that I’ve defended my dissertation, I’m doing a month or so of job hunting before the door slams shut for getting a full-time academic job in 2019–2020.

If I don’t get a full-time academic job this month, I’ll take whatever job I can get. I need to provide for Karin and the baby.

Karin continues to go to her job. It’s a little more grueling for her each day. She’s just beginning the third trimester of the pregnancy.

Our son is about the size of a prairie dog or a Napa cabbage.

Jasper and Ziva are glad to have us back in South Bend. They were reluctant to accept us at first, but after we spent a full night at home they were very affectionate. As much as Karin & I enjoyed touring the east, we missed our kitties terribly. I hope we never stay apart from Jasper and Ziva this long again.

Los pibes

The last bits of my dissertation, not counting revisions, need to be turned in around the beginning of next week. Meanwhile, I continue to apply for academic jobs. It amazes me that so many are posted so near to the beginning of the next school year.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

After starting slowly, with a draw and a defeat in the first two group games, Ecuador has progressed to the quarterfinal round of the men’s U-20 World Cup in Poland.

Ecuador’s opponent in the quarterfinals: the USA.

(I’m not saying that one side is morally better than the other, but one is like Luke Skywalker and the other is like Darth Vader.)

Los pibes, as the youths are called, seem especially bad at kicking penalties. They missed one against the Japanese, whom they outplayed and should have beaten, and another against the Italians, whom they also outplayed and with whom they should have drawn.

They did convert two penalty kicks against the Uruguayans. They used two different shooters who followed the same strategy: shooting low and centrally into space vacated by the goalkeeper.

Not very inspiring. I hope the quarterfinal doesn’t have to be settled with a shootout.

Job hunting

What with my Ph.D. nearly in hand, I’ve been applying for college teaching jobs. Long shot, I know …

This involves writing cover letters and other supporting documents for dozens or even hundreds of schools. Naturally, if a school’s application requirements are too onerous, I simply choose not to pursue employment there.

Several times, I’ve submitted an application and then been asked, on short notice, to submit more documents not initially requested.

A couple of these schools made their second request after I’d survived the first cut in the application process. It was onerous, but I complied.

This last time, though, I’d filled out a twelve-page application form that included several essay questions. Then, when I emailed it (along with the other documents specified in the job advertisement) to the search committee’s representative, she replied with another series of essay questions for me to answer – questions she said were required of all faculty job inquirers.

When I have received this document, she said, I will forward [your application] to the search committee for their review.

I know that schools can get away with doing this because they receive hundreds of applications for each job they advertise. But how is it not frowned upon?

I took it as a sign of how the school treats its employees and decided not to complete the application. (Besides, I have lots of other work to do.)

I composed this reply:

No. If [your school] requires all faculty job applicants to submit answers to these five questions, it should include the questions in the job advertisement or in the application form.

I don’t think I’ll send it, though. The representative is only a secretary. Her job is to pass materials back and forth between the applicants and the search committee, not to decide what the search committee should require the applicants to do.

This ordeal is giving me lots of ideas about how to conduct reasonable job searches. Not that I expect to ever be in a position to implement them. The initial hurdles may well prove too overwhelming.

Prospecting

About zero degrees Fahrenheit today. I stayed inside; I was on holiday, thanks to Martin Luther King. Karin & I did go out for supper, and I felt the cold then. I barely made it to the car.

A lovely philosophic job is advertised in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, in Marquette – a Lake Superior port town, four hours east of Duluth, eight hours from South Bend if one travels through Illinois and Wisconsin. Its hills and lake are beautiful, and its wooden sports dome is the world’s largest. But the cold! The snow! The darkness! If I barely can endure them here, how could I there?

This job was advertised a year ago as well; I wonder if that school has trouble attracting (or retaining) employees.

Another possible job – in Texas, not far from Ana & David – is in a nicer clime but would expire after a year or two.

Without the Ph.D., no job offer is likely to materialize; but I talked last week with my adviser, and we both realized that I am very close to finishing (though the degree probably wouldn’t be conferred until the end of May).

The cold

Today’s was a record low temperature in South Bend (−15°F). When it’s like this, what else is there to write about?

I left the apartment for three minutes to take the trash out to the dumpster. My mustaches froze.

On the map, it looks as if Illinois, Indiana, and Ohio are the coldest of the contiguous states. Minnesota and North Dakota are ten degrees warmer than South Bend. So is Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. What’s the point of not applying for teaching jobs in the beautiful Upper Peninsula, if this is how South Bend’s weather is going to be?

This morning, before I got out of bed, I made two important philosophic breakthroughs.

Karin’s birthday; tomorrow’s World Cup qualifier; this year’s philosophical job listings

For her birthday, I went with Karin to a stir-fry restaurant at the mall. I also bought her this spiffy coloring book:


Its pages, colored, should look like this:


♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

Tomorrow is the do-or-die game in Chile. I’d say, “Please pray for Ecuador to win.” But does Ecuador deserve to qualify for this World Cup?

Arguably, no.

However, the Chileans certainly don’t deserve to qualify for this World Cup.

Please pray for Ecuador to win.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

It’s job-listing season for philosophy departments. Despite my hard work this year, it again looks as though my dissertation won’t have progressed far enough for me to be a viable candidate.

Were I to finish the current draft by the end of this month, job-wise it’d still be too late.

I can dream, though.

One job is at a Wesleyan liberal arts college in lovely, rural, upstate New York. It involves helping to “build a program” with one or two other professors. Translation: I could teach in several different subfields outside of my own area of specialization. That’s something I’d very much like to do.

Several other jobs look good because of the nearby mountain scenery. (Actually, there are very few such jobs.)

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

This year, even more than usual, political philosophers and moralists are in high demand. This trend is to my advantage.

In especial demand are philosophers who moralize about race. I believe that race is a very important topic. But this recent philosophical emphasis on race leaves me uneasy: it has a whiff of fashionableness about it. In other words, I doubt that the attention now bestowed upon race is a manifestation of good faith.

Still, if I do think of anything worthwhile to say about race, I’ll try to write it in a paper.

A busy holiday in my chair

I had my Spring Break this week, and I made good use of the time, sitting at home in my armchair. I wrote and read and kept company with the kitties. I applied for one full-time job (the response, so far, has been perfunctory) and plotted to apply elsewhere. I wondered if I could get a scholarship to do research in Scotland. … Tonight I read Larissa MacFarquhar’s 2007 essay about Barack Obama. I typeset it into a handsome 13-page, 2-column PDF, using William Addison Dwiggins’s neglected font, ITC New Winchester. (The relevance is that this font is like Dwiggins’s Eldorado, and Obama’s maternal grandfather hailed from a Kansas town named El Dorado.)

Karin went to work each day and played video games each night. On Tuesday, we ate supper with our old pastor’s family, and, last night, we washed our clothes.

Karin has been trying to interest the kitties in their mirror reflections. Ziva is downright alarmed by hers. Jasper at first feigned indifference to his reflection, but tonight I noticed him perching on the bathroom sink, looking at himself.

My fellow tutors; Spotify; Agatha Christie; the Cloth

Today my fellow IUSB tutors were whining about their classmates. Fortunately, Ana & David had gifted Spotify to me, and I’d brought earbuds. Soon I was enjoying sweet respite:
On the day I was born,
The nurses all gathered ’round,
And they gazed in wide wonder
At the joy they had found.
The head nurse spoke up,
Said, “Leave this one alone!”
She could tell right away
That I was bad to the bone.
Then one of the tutors picked up The Secret of Chimneys and made as if to read it. I almost jumped out of my chair. Should I say something? Probably not.

“I was just thinking about that very book!” I said, removing one earbud. “Just now, while walking to work! What an amazing coincidence!”

“I’m reading my way through Agatha Christie,” she said.

“That book is good, but the sequel is really good!” I said. (The sequel is The Seven Dials Mystery.)

“I like this one,” she replied. “It’s one of her earlier works.”

“She wrote, like, a million books,” put in the other tutor. “Have you seen the episode of Doctor Who that has Agatha Christie in it?”

The tutor who was reading Chimneys responded approvingly. Their conversation was thus rekindled. I put my earbud back in. I blamed myself for this turn of events.

“She wrote all her books upon a typewriter,” said the tutor who wasn’t reading Chimneys. (That was the final tidbit that reached me.)

As I again listened to “Bad to the Bone,” my thoughts returned to the possibility of becoming a chaplain. The other day I was on a university website, looking at faculty and staff vacancies, and one of them was for University Chaplain. It struck me that, as an educated, faith-filled person, I could meet most of the qualifications for the job. (I’d just need to get a Master of Divinity degree first.) Another Internet search revealed that there is quite a demand for chaplains.

I recalled that one of my own cousins had been thinking of becoming a chaplain. I, personally, had never much considered taking up the Cloth, but in these hard times, one must be willing to do all sorts of things.

A while ago, I said to Karin, “What if I were to become a minister?” (I’d been reading Barchester Towers by Anthony Trollope.)

“No!” she said. She didn’t relish the prospect of becoming a minister’s wife.

“What if,” I said, “I did it as a joint venture with another minister who has a wife? She could do your duties. And the other minister and I could take turns at the pulpit – one week, he’d preach the Sermon, and the next, I’d preach the Refutation.”

Karin didn’t think much of this plan, either.