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Canada 0, Morocco 3; Mexico 2, England 3; USA 1, Belgium 4

So, the co-hosts of this rotten World Cup have been eliminated, pop-pop-pop, in the same early knockout round, and I couldn’t be more pleased; I’ve waited eight years for this moment. Canada, I fault only for having joined a corrupt alliance. (I didn’t much like how the Canadian team played, but put let’s put that aside.) Mexico, I fault for having long ago entered into faustian hosting arrangements with the United States, in this World Cup and in other tournaments; for having greedily sought to host the World Cup a third time, ahead of countries that haven’t had a turn; and for gross inhospitality. All of Ecuador cheered when England beat Mexico. I certainly did, even though I cheer for England as little as possible (just three times since the 1998 World Cup).

As for the USA, well, it may not be gracious to “pile on,” but certain matters must be addressed. If you don’t know the immediate context, you can read about it here or in countless other sources.

Know this, at least: a certain U.S. politician admitted – bragged – that he’d interfered in a supposedly neutral disciplinary process.

As it turned out, the meddling hurt rather than helped the intended beneficiary. The U.S. team already was out of sorts when it took to the field against the Belgians. Those opponents carved up the U.S. with professional, surgical precision – until the last minutes, when the ball was trickling into the U.S. goal every which way; then, they unleashed the “Trump” dance.


It’s gratifying to see on-field retribution. But the urgent lesson is that stricter and more explicit rules against political interference must be adopted, or else matches themselves will lose whatever credibility they once had. (Today, undue controversy surrounded Argentina’s victory over Egypt.)

Moreover: in a better world, certain FIFA officials would be impeached. And a certain country would be barred from the World Cup, for at least as long as the Chileans were barred in the early 1990s for their procedural violation.

It might be objected that in the present case, the politician’s meddling backfired, and so no harm was done. I couldn’t disagree more. A legal analogy: specific instances of bribery, intimidation, or jury tampering might backfire; but they should be punished anyway, because such offenses corrode the integrity and the trustworthiness of the court.

The little prince

Netflix has released a sixty-minute documentary, Antoine Griezmann: The Making of a Legend – an appropriate title since its depiction of that player’s World Cup triumph is dishonest.

Recounting Griezmann’s “Man of the Match” performance in the World Cup final, the movie focuses on his successful penalty kick, which gave France a 2–1 lead over Croatia. The movie completely ignores how, earlier in the game, Griezmann fooled the ref into calling a nonexistent foul for him. His ensuing free kick resulted in France’s first goal. (For brief commentary on that “foul,” look here and here.)

Griezmann is a wonderful player to watch. He succeeds because of brains, not strength or speed. Despite not caring about the French team, I rooted for him all through Euro 2016.

But his is no “underdog” story (even if, when he was a youngster, the French scouts overlooked his quality and he had to go learn his trade in Spain). As the movie makes clear, he was given sufficient opportunity. He certainly wasn’t shy to seize it.

The movie shows him weeping after France’s defeat of Belgium in the semifinal. “That’s when I knew we’d be world champions,” he says. “There was one match to go, but I thought, ‘It’s okay, it’s mine.’”

The Belgians comment: “We lost to a team with no real game.”

To which Griezmann replies: “If it came from the other team, I’m pleased. It’s what I want, for our game to get to them, nobody able to find a solution.”

But I was a neutral viewer, and I agree with the Belgians. France had loads of talent but no real game.

In this world, you can win a lot without having any real game. You need a sense of entitlement, which the Belgians lacked against their larger neighbor. That is what Griezmann has in spades.

A fallow season

These are the semifinalists:

France
Belgium
England
Croatia

As you can see, three of them are located within a stone’s throw of one another. Coincidence? Geographic determinism?

The latter probably has a lot to do with it. But this isn’t the occasion for explaining why.

Coincidence probably has a lot to do with it, too. It’s coincidental that Belgium has so many talented players just at this time. Also, if geography determined everything, the Netherlands would’ve qualified for the World Cup; but, as it happens, this is a fallow season for the Dutch.

Actually, this is a fallow season for just about everyone. In my view, the quality of international soccer in the last four years has been pretty low, and we’re witnessing the denouement of this state of affairs.

As one of Telemundo’s announcers said during the quarterfinal between England and Sweden: “One of these teams will be a World Cup semifinalist.”

He paused. “Is my meaning clear?”

“As clear as the day,” said his partner.

As Clint Eastwood has said: Deserve’s got nothing to do with it.

No more South Americans

The Uruguayans are out. The Brazilians are out. They were KO’d by France and Belgium.

The Uruguayans badly missed Edinson Cavani, who was injured.

The Brazilians badly missed Casemiro, the world’s most valuable player, who was suspended for having accumulated too many yellow cards.

The Brazilians scored a decisive goal against themselves, and the Uruguayans missed a few golden chances to even the score against the French. That’s the problem with the World Cup, I think. It doesn’t matter how good a team is in the qualifying phase, or in the World Cup’s group stage, or in an early knockout round. A country only needs to be unlucky in the wrong match.

Four more years down the drain.

The first knockout stage

… has been played out.

I just finished watching England defeat Colombia in a penalty shootout. This game had a villain: U.S. referee Mark Geiger. He called a very dubious penalty against Colombia, forfeited his credibility with the players, and was generally incompetent. In fact, he was a jackass. Given his history, he shouldn’t have been assigned to the World Cup in the first place.

With Colombia’s disqualification, one half of the playoff bracket looks utterly dismal. One of these sorry teams will reach the final game:

  • Russia (KO’d Spain in a penalty shootout after playing bunker defense)
  • Croatia (KO’d Denmark in a shootout after an utter snoozefest)
  • Sweden (KO’d Switzerland with a goal from a deflected shot, mercifully ending an utter snoozefest so that extra time wouldn’t have to be played)
  • England (toothless)

So far, all knockout games between two European teams have been deadly dull. We can expect more of the same for the quarterfinal and semifinal games in this half of the bracket.

The other half is much better. These are its surviving teams:

  • France (scored four goals against Argentina)
  • Uruguay (scored twice, and at will, against Portugal – seven minutes after beginning to play, and seven minutes after having been scored upon – and with breathtaking technique; dominated play without possessing the ball)
  • Brazil (broke down Mexican resistance with two well-crafted goals)
  • Belgium (showed attacking prowess by surmounting a two-goal deficit vs. Japan)

Even if France and Belgium should defeat the South Americans in the quarterfinals, we can expect them to give us a rousing semifinal game.

Some frightening teams

Leave it to Alejandro Moreno, the worst commentator I’ve ever listened to, to defend Neymar for weeping out on the field … like a spoiled child … after scoring a tap-in against Costa Rica.

If the Brazilians win this World Cup – and, with all of their talent, they’re poised to do so – I hope they win with Neymar on the bench.

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The Colombians may have lost their first game, but yesterday they showed that they’re one of the planet’s scariest teams. They turned on the style in their rout of Poland.

The Colombians also have enough talent to win this World Cup.

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The Uruguayans have enough talent and more than enough grit. They won’t fear anyone. They’re used to grinding out results, which bodes well for their fate in the later rounds.

They ground out results against Egypt and Saudi Arabia. Then, this morning, they decided not only to clinch the first place in Group A, but to emphasize how dangerous they are. And so they casually routed the host nation.

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Another frightening team is Germany – not for having played well, but for having come back from the dead against the Swedes.

Before Toni Kroos scored his last-minute goal, the citizens of all the other countries had been licking their chops. The Mexicans, especially: their team would’ve qualified for the next round if Sweden had held Germany to a draw.

Instead, Group F remains unsettled. Germany, Mexico, and Sweden all will be excellently positioned if they win their respective upcoming games. Theoretically, even the Koreans could advance.

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Also frightening – but still unproven – are the Croatians, the Belgians, and the English, all of whom have easily qualified for the knockout stage. They all looked quite good against their group opponents, but I wonder how they’d fare against Colombia or Germany, or even Mexico.

A sputtering start

Who will seize control in this World Cup? So far, none of the “powers” has seemed capable. Germany has lost to Mexico; Portugal and Spain have drawn against each other (these teams have shown perhaps the best potential); Argentina and Brazil have drawn against Iceland and Switzerland, respectively. Only France has won – against Australia – but hardly in a convincing fashion.

Russia, the host nation, scored five times against the dismal Saudis without playing especially well. I expect the Russians to qualify for the next round, and then to get knocked out.

Only Uruguay – not a “power,” but still a team to be reckoned with – defeated its opponent, Egypt, in its usual manner. It eked out a 1–0 victory in added time, with a goal by a central defender. Uruguay will be very comfortable in games like those that have occurred so far.

Belgium, England, Colombia, and Poland have yet to play any games. It’s too early to say how they will do.

Zaza

In their quarterfinal, Müller, Özil, and Schweinsteiger erred their penalty kicks. Luckily for them, Simone Zaza’s miss counted for three, it was so terrible.

Zaza without music;

Zaza with music;

Zaza with horsey music.

At least he’s contrite. Brave Zaza, I understand your pain, and I wish you future success.

Other Italians erred. The Germans, KO’ing them, advanced to play against the French, who defeated the Icelanders. Here are the Icelanders back at home, doing their rigid cheer (which I like to think of as their “Ent” cheer).

On a lark I’ve begun to write a story called “The Nephew of Poirot.” It’s set during the present day, i.e. during these Euros. It tells of a collaboration between the Englishman Henry Hastings (the grandson of Captain Arthur) and the nephew of Hercule, the Belgian Claude-Luc Poirot. They must come to terms with Brexit, with their countries’ respective footballing crises, and with the past. Following a tip from Coetzee, I am going to have to do some research into Hugo Claus, the author of The Sorrow of Belgium. Dame Agatha, like Chesterton primarily a commentator on the soul, had absolutely nothing to say about Hercule’s homeland – which was all to the good; but nowadays a responsible writer can’t ignore fiction’s geopolitics.

Wildflower

Another upset: the Welsh KO’d the Belgians. In their semifinal they’ll face the Portuguese, who’ve yet to win in 90 minutes.

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On July 8 the Avalanches will put out their first album since, what, 2000? – and to my great delight the tracks released so far are distinctly like certain passages of Since I Left You.

Ignore for a moment the sounds, the samples, and consider how, structurally and rhythmically, the new tracks parallel the earlier ones.

“Subways” condenses “Close to You,” “Diner’s Only,” and “A Different Feeling”;

“Colours” is like “Electricity”;

and of course in many ways “Frankie Sinatra” is like “Frontier Psychiatrist.”

(All these tracks – old and new – are mid-album. We’ve yet to learn how Wildflower will start up or wind down.)

I don’t think these parallels are accidental (“Fr”-“S”; “Fr”-“Ps”). The Avalanches have been trying for sixteen years to make something that approximates the feel, the mood, that was so loved about Since I Left You, and this goal has proved most elusive. And so here and there they’re making the albums’ similarities extra-conspicuous.

The new tracks are quite good in themselves, but they also show how difficult it is to re-do what first was achieved with comparatively little effort. It is no small victory to copy, accurately, what was done by free association.

The British situation

Is the UK doing away with council housing?

Farewell, then, to the Britain of my imagination. The UK’d might as well get rid of its fish-and-chips shops and its London fog.

Not all Britons are very keen on council housing. I even happen to agree with those who, in 2008, opposed the inclusion of council flats in luxurious buildings.

Council flats shouldn’t have a hint of luxury about them. They ought to be squarely on the dingy side.

If council flats weren’t dingy, we wouldn’t have such brilliant movies as the Mike Leigh-directed All or Nothing or Andrea Arnold’s Fish Tank and Red Road

or such brilliant songs as the Orb’s “Little Fluffy Clouds”

(see these reminiscences of the Orb’s two members, Youth and Dr. Alex Paterson, about composing music, together with the KLF, inside a council flat).

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As I type this, Ireland Rep. are outplaying and defeating Sweden in the Euros. Yesterday, Ulster lost narrowly to Poland, and the day before that, Wales beat Slovakia. On the whole it’s been a good showing by the British Isles.

On the whole.

The English continue to disappoint their backers. During their game against the Russians, they were lions in possession but mouses in front of their opponents’ net. They squeaked in just one goal, a free kick, only for the Russians to equalize at the death. Then the Russian supporters chased the English supporters up and down the stadium and beat them up.

The Swedes have just equalized against the Irish.

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“I’m looking forward to Belgium’s game against the Italians,” I tell Karin. “The Belgians have been playing wonderfully these last few years.”

“Yes,” says Karin. “It must be because of Poirot.”

Belgium 1, Russia 0; Algeria 4, South Korea 2; Portugal 2, USA 2

Belgium boringly qualified for Round 2. …

Hats off to the Algerians. Their fourth goal was especially well-crafted. And hats off to the Koreans for trying all game long. …


The U.S. came within a minute of qualifying against the mediocre Portuguese. I roared with pleasure when Silvestre Varela scored the tying goal.


Now Ghana and Germany, the better teams, are poised to qualify instead of the U.S.

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This morning, before I walked to work, I checked the forecast: 0% chance of rain … and then a downpour caught me as I was waiting for a train to pass. I called Martin, and he kindly brought dry clothes.

Belgium 2, Algeria 1; Brazil 0, Mexico 0; Russia 1, South Korea 1

Good grief, who played yesterday? I barely remember.

People will be praising the Mexicans’ effort against Brazil. Not that it was bad; but as I said before, this Brazilian team is nothing special.

I’m glad the Algerians got a goal. Last World Cup, they didn’t.

Fabio Capello, do you demoralize your goalies? Last World Cup, in the first game, your English goalie allowed a weak shot to trickle in; and this time, your Russian goalie did the same.

A soccer storm

Now that their qualifiers have ended, the South Americans are reacquainting themselves to the rest of the world.

In Brussels: Belgium 0, Colombia 2
In London: England 0, Chile 2
In Amman: Jordan 0, Uruguay 5
In Miami: Honduras 0, Brazil 5
In New Jersey: Argentina 0, Ecuador 0 (appropriate)

It should be a good World Cup.

Despite the stormy forecast, Stephen and I took to the field. Wind and water made long passing difficult. But we kept playing until Meridith yelled at us to quit because of the lightning.

On our way home, the rain was so thick that we couldn’t see, and when we arrived, the power was out. We sat around in candlelight. In adjacent counties, there were tornadoes.

But the storm passed quickly enough, and today, unfortunately, I have to go to school.