Mother’s Day

7:00am: I’m awake after a night’s sleep of three hours. At my first stirring, Young Chirpie Chirpington (Jasper) becomes hyper-alert and paces back and forth upon my body. He emits high-pitched noises.

Son, must you chirp so? Have you no dignity?

Ziva, the shyer one, merely pokes at my feet with her claws.

This is why it’s better for Karin to awaken first.

Zzz …

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9:30am: One more hour of sleep, and then it’s off to our new church (we switched churches a few months ago). In Sunday School, the adults are slowly reading through 2 Timothy. As always, Paul is concerned that there shouldn’t be division among the believers, or useless arguing.

One woman suggests that there’s more useless arguing today than there was in Paul’s time – or even than when she was young. Today, people argue about things like politics. Or gender. Or the weather.

The weather? Karin & I are doubtful. Isn’t that one of the few safe subjects?

(Later, Karin’s mom suggests that the woman meant global warming.)

During the worship period, Karin & I watch over the nursery. (Due to Mother’s Day, the regular nursery worker is in the service.) This nursery has comfortable rocking chairs and a TV. Karin plays with the two small children while I download music from Spotify onto my phone.

We also view a part of Dumbo. As a Mother’s Day movie, Dumbo is appropriate, if sad.

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12:30pm: Surprisingly, it takes the better part of an hour to drive from church to Karin’s mom’s house. First we’re detained in an especially slow lane of traffic. Then we’re detained at a railroad crossing.

Calm down, Sweetie, I encourage Karin. Enjoy this nice, long, live version of “The Man-Machine” that I just downloaded.

Karin is not appeased.

1:30pm: We arrive at Karin’s mom’s house. The women sort through old photographs. I sleep on the couch.

3:30pm: We arrive at home. Karin sleeps in our bed. I sit in an armchair and try to write, but mostly I alternate between sleeping and sneezing (the night’s short rest has made me vulnerable to drafts).

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Tomorrow morning, it’s back to the office at IUSB.

Happy Mother’s Day, my dear Mom.

The funeral, etc.

On Friday, Karin & I rode to Kansas City in Martin’s & Mary’s car, arriving with them in time for the “viewing” ceremony. Grandpa looked very peaceful in his casket. He’d been laid out in one of his comfortable flannel shirts. I talked to many people, including a guy named Ryan with whom I’d gone to high school in Missouri in 1996. A member of the armed forces, he’d traveled virtually everywhere; he had much to tell me about Antarctica. Later, I introduced Karin to my grandma, but only briefly because everyone wanted to speak to her.

Afterward, I ate at a Waffle House, which I hadn’t been able to do since 2010. Then Karin & I spent the night in a well-wisher’s basement. M&M shared a hotel room with Ana & David and were attacked by bedbugs. Edoarda & Stephen, who’d used that room the previous night, also suffered bug bites.

The funeral itself was held the next day. Three hundred people attended (or so I estimate). I and the other grandsons bore the casket. I was reunited with Amber, a schoolmate from Ecuador who’s now a missionary to Papua New Guinea. Later, an old farmer from Duluth, Minnesota, questioned me about my dissertation. One woman learned that I’d studied philosophy and then asked if I believed in God.

On the whole, it was a grueling day.

The next morning, Karin & I got back into the car with M&M and rode back to South Bend, where we discovered that Jasper and Ziva had broken into their plastic container of treats and eaten the lot. The kitties were but little harmed: their treats aren’t very calorific. Jasper actually looks thinner now.

Today, some undetonated pipe bombs were found at a busy intersection near my favorite Vietnamese restaurant.

The LimeBike

As Borat says, “In my country, there is problem / And that problem is transport.”

Well, South Bend has joined in an experiment to make transport better, or, at least, more hip. It has adopted the LimeBike system.

Behold these young Seattleites riding LimeBikes.

The system works like this. Garish green bikes are planted all over the city. When you find one, you scan its QR code with your phone. This allows you to ride for up to 30 minutes.

$1 is charged to your tab.

Afterward, you leave the bike in any accessible, unobtrusive place (e.g., on the grass next to a public sidewalk).

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I strongly disapprove of car transport, and so you’d think I’d have high hopes for the LimeBike.

Alas, I don’t.

I don’t think the LimeBike ever will become popular enough to significantly change the transport system. South Benders will continue to drive.

If I recall correctly, that’s what’s happened in the Netherlands. For many years, the Dutch have had a generous bike-sharing system. And many Dutch do use it: cycling is an important part of their culture. But few Dutch commuters switch over from driving cars.

My conjecture is that no matter what country you go to, introducing more bikes won’t change the overall transport preferences.

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But suppose that LimeBikes were to become popular in South Bend, or were perceived to be popular. That would be dangerous, lest support be withdrawn from public bussing.

Mass transit is what really matters to poor people. No one too poor to own a car would wish to depend on some dumb bike. Especially not in snow or rain. And not in old age or illness or affliction.

For the occasional light errand, the LimeBike is OK. Though it isn’t cheaper than riding the bus, in some circumstances it’s more practical. But as a significant influence upon transit patterns, it’s less likely to help than to hurt.

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Also, the LimeBike reminds me of Dr. Seuss’s Pale Green Pants. I keep seeing it in strange places, as if it were following me.

This week, there’s been a LimeBike in my parking lot. Every day, the thing has moved a little closer to my building. Now it’s sitting on my front porch.

It creeps me out.

In Seattle, the LimeBike has taken to hanging from the trees.

And in South Bend, it keeps on appearing in the river, as if it were Ophelia.

The Isle of Man

Today’s adventure with Google Earth took me to the Isle of Man, which I’d been reading about in Armadale. Its scenery resembles that of Ireland (it’s in the Irish Sea). With relative ease, one is able to use Google’s “street view” function to trace the entirety of the A18, which connects several of the important coastal towns. This route also approaches the Isle’s tallest mountain (of some 2000 feet). The change in scenery, therefore, is dramatic in a small way. Occasionally, sheep appear along the road; the little towns, also, are nice to look at, and one infers from billboards that the motor racing is distinguished.

In honor of the Isle of Man, tonight I listened to the Bee Gees, who lived there before moving to Manchester and Australia. Here is a video of their underrated song, “Fanny (Be Tender with My Love).”

Our age-gap; no rest for me; the spot

I go with Karin to Constantine, MI, to help her to pack up her grandparents’ belongings so that they can move to a different house. Karin allows me to choose the music for the car ride.

I choose songs from when I was a youth.

“What’s this?” says Karin, who is ten years younger than I am.

“This is ‘Miami’ by Will Smith.”

“Oh, yes. The early Will Smith.”

“I guess so.”

“What’s this?” says Karin.

“These are the Goo Goo Dolls. This song [‘Iris’] was very popular when I was in high school.”

“Oh, yes.”

The next song, she doesn’t ask about. I headbang to it and play the air guitar. After a while, I ask: “Do you like this song, Sweetie?”

“It’s fine. What is it?”

“It’s ‘Self Esteem’ by the Offspring.”

“Yes, it’s good. It’s like Nirvana.”

“Yes. But much funnier.”

“Oh, yes.”

Next is “Lucky Denver Mint” by Jimmy Eat World, whom I never listened to until I moved to the United States.

“I feel like this music was popular in the 2000s,” says Karin.

“Actually, this song is from the late ’90s.”

“I think I like the Smashing Pumpkins. They’re from the ’90s, right? Are they the ones who sing, I used to be a little boy …?”

“Yes. David and I refer to that song as ‘The Killer in Me Is the Killer in You.’ It’s very good.”

“What is it really called?”

“‘Disarm.’”

“Oh, yes.”

We listen to “Disarm.” I wail along with it: The killer in me is the killer in you …

“I like songs like this one,” says Karin. “The ones that are a little gloomy.”

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IUSB’s summer term will end on Monday. I’d been looking forward to having a few days off. But, last night, Martin told me that work will begin again at the high school on Tuesday morning.

On the one hand, it’s a bit of a shock.

On the other, being oblivious to the calendar has spared me from dreading about going back to my high school job.

I have a strange spot on my back, near to my right shoulder. I made an appointment for a doctor to check it out (September 7). Right now, I feel all right about it, just a little uneasy, but for a couple of days this week Karin & I were very conscious of our mortality. Which is a fine thing, up to a point. The ideal amount of consciousness of mortality is somewhere in between what I have now and what I had a few days ago.

Mary isn’t very worried. Without having seen it, she thinks that the spot is a regular mole that was stretched out when I got too fat.

The end of camp-time

Brianna is quite the little Queen Bee. She has so many friends at Brown City Camp that they have to compete for her attention. Sometimes she and just one or two of her friends come into our cabin; but then the others locate her, and our cabin is filled with teen-aged girls (the boys are too polite, or too shy, to join us).

Inevitably, feelings get hurt. There’s only so much of Brianna to go around, and she doesn’t always distribute herself most equitably and lovingly.

This is a difficult thing to manage. It’s difficult for adults. It’s even harder for the young. They’re only beginning to grasp that personal relationships come with duties as well as benefits – that more is expected than a spontaneous reaction of the heart. It’s painful to watch Brianna charm people but not fully embrace all who are charmed.

Still, her uninhibitedness serves her well during a Q&A session about creation vs. evolution.

“Good Christians disagree about this subject,” begins the pastor, and then he spends the rest of his time explaining why Young Earth creationism is clearly the right – the righteous – option.

Brianna is his sole dissenter.

“My name is Brianna,” she says, “and my grandparents are _____ and _____, who have been coming to this camp for many years” (there is a murmur of approval). “And I just want to say that I don’t believe in Young Earth. But when I get to heaven and see Jesus, if he says, ‘The world was created in six days,’ I’ll say, ‘Praise God!’ And if he says, ‘The world was created through evolution,’ I’ll say, ‘Praise God!’” (The pastor glares.)

Her mother and Karin & I are very pleased. I’m reminded of myself, of my own youthful outspokenness. (Whether I was equitable and loving, I don’t recall.)

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The next day, Karin & I return to South Bend. We listen to the Twin Peaks soundtrack, to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and to my playlist-in-progress, “Stalker Songs,” which has melodic, soft music and vaguely unsettling lyrics. (And not all of its songs are about stalking: some are about mugging, or about being mugged.)

When we go into our house, Jasper is very happy to see us. He meows and meows and eats half of Karin’s sandwich and dashes around the house for about an hour.

Karin goes to the Social Security office and changes her last name. It’s her decision. I’m glad she’s doing what she wants, not what I want.

I love Karin better all the time. It’s a delight to wake up next to her.

And I love Jasper, who this morning did the waking up.

Leg 2; “Esio Trot”; Brown City Camp; a new job

IDV lost 1–0 to Atlético Nacional, which was respectable enough to attract some more kudos from the continental and global journalists.

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Last night Karin & I drove to Brown City Camp, a church camp in eastern Michigan where Karin’s mother has a cabin (she’ll soon join us, along with Karin’s little sister, Brianna). The trip was tedious. I perked up when we got near to Lansing and Flint, which I wanted to see a bit of, but we zoomed past those cities. We listened to novellas and short stories by Roald Dahl: Fantastic Mr. Fox; “The Enormous Crocodile”; and a cynical piece called “Esio Trot,” which I’d never heard of. This story was brutal even by Dahlian standards. I think even Dahl must have felt uneasy about it, because he gave it a redemptive ending that was out of step with the rest of it. (I’m also reading The Stranger Beside Me, the opus of Ann Rule, about the serial killer Ted Bundy. “Esio Trot” is more unsettling.)

When we got to the camp it was close to midnight. Karin parked in the main lot, just outside of the front gate. Suddenly we were confronted by a golf cart driven by a feeble old man and a bored teen-aged boy. They were wearing bright green shirts that said “Security.”

“What are you doing here,” said the old man.

“We have a cabin here,” said Karin. “We just arrived from South Bend.”

“Oh, all right,” said the old man. “Let me open the gate for you so you can park nearer to your cabin.” The golf cart drove away.

“That was bizarre,” I said to Karin.

“It’s after curfew,” she explained.

As we went down to our cabin we passed two other “Security” golf carts, one driven by two old women, another by a middle-aged man and woman who were extremely fat. I figured that I could outrun any of these security guards.

(On the other hand, so many of these golf carts were creeping around in the middle of the night, I’d probably be caught no matter what.)

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Prof. Robby has asked me to teach a few Spanish courses at Bethel. So that’s what I expect to do this fall, along with my other two jobs. I’ve agreed to teach Elementary Spanish II and Intermediate Spanish.

Reading report; dreaming report

I await my $0.64 copy of The Sorrow of Belgium. I bought it online from Better World Books. It has passed from BWB’s warehouse in Mishawaka (5–6 mi from my house) to Cincinnati, OH, to Allen Park, MI – near to Detroit. Now I’m hoping it’ll come back west.

It’s dumb for stuff to be shipped so circuitously. Would the Pony Express have taken this route? I doubt it.

Meantime, I’m making good progress reading these books:

Inner Workings by J.M. Coetzee;
The Witches by Roald Dahl;
Doctor No by Ian Fleming.

Later this month, Karin & I’ll go on a long car-ride to a place called Brown City Camp. I don’t like to listen to audiobooks, but Karin does. I’ll compromise. The key is to pick out something funny and gruesome: for instance, a book written by Roald Dahl and narrated by Stephen Fry, or by Hugh Laurie, or by some other British comic person. (Maybe also some nice sermons.)

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I dreamed last night that I wasn’t very fat any more – but also not very limber; and that I was trying to play soccer on a tiny field with two dozen other people, and that the passing lanes were all blocked off; and that the overaggressive coach (or whoever he was) was telling me to “jab the foot in” more, and I was like, It isn’t necessary, Sir: on this congested field I can simply hold the ball carrier off; he will lose his control of the ball. And I dreamed that I scored my only goal by climbing up a chain-linked fence and waiting for the ball to come up to me and then tapping it in from above the other players; but everyone wanted to disallow that goal.

I dream a lot of dreams like this one.

I-15; Bryce Canyon; Hatch; Orderville; Zion

Here’s our first photo of Salt Lake City, taken near to the airport (we’d just gotten our rental car):

We headed southward on I-15. As she drove, Karin marveled at the scenery. First we passed snow-capped mountains which loomed over suburban sprawl (office parks; strip malls; gun shops; for-profit universities). Before long, the constructed things gave way to lush, green valleys with creeks and cattle in them. The mountains turned redder and smaller.

After some two hundred miles, we left the interstate and turned eastward, in the direction of Bryce Canyon National Park. The going was slower, and the hills rested nearer to the road.

Then came tourist town after tourist town, motel after motel. Bryce Canyon itself was swarming with tourists, many of them from such places as the Netherlands and Japan. Nearly all of these svelte persons were wearing hiking gear. With them, we rode shuttle buses to the vistas.

Proof that we were at Bryce Canyon:

Proof that we were at Bryce Canyon together:

(Karin thinks this picture is very funny.)

Worn out from riding the shuttle buses, we drove to the little town of Hatch, where we’d reserved our motel room. At first we had trouble finding the motel. We drove up and down what seemed to be Hatch’s only street. Karin pulled into a gas station to collect her wits.

I looked across the street. “That building is our motel,” I said.

This, too, was very funny to Karin. She laughed and laughed.

“It’ll be a fine motel,” I said.

Later, when we dined at the steakhouse there, we decided that it was a fine motel.

The next morning I made sure to photograph the motel:

And the carpet in our room:

Which I wouldn’t mind installing in my own house some day.

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The route between the town of Hatch and Zion National Park was perhaps the loveliest route of the whole trip. Much of it seemed to be permanently clouded over.

We stopped in the town of Orderville to buy supplies, and I picked up a free Spanish translation of the Book of Mormon. “It should be easier to read this version than to read the English version,” I told myself (Joseph Smith was no great prose stylist). The phrase And it came to pass mercifully was rendered in Spanish sometimes as Y sucedió, sometimes as Y ocurrió.

Also available: translations into Dutch, into Italian, into what may have been Bengali.

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Zion is a park for fatties. You can go through all of it in a car. (From what I could tell, there were more cars inside of Zion than anywhere else in Utah.) At Zion you needn’t pretend to be an outdoorsman: lots of people dress in regular clothes.

Karin & I performed a single hike, which wasn’t terribly strenuous. It took us to this vista:

Again, here’s proof that we were there together:

Much of the park resembled the scenery in Picnic at Hanging Rock.

Next blog entry: our return to Salt Lake City. But by the time I publish it we’ll have arrived back in South Bend.