The World Cup groups
[Dreaming]
Put me in, Coach.
[Telephone rings]
What’s the score? !!!
[Answers telephone]
How many?
Twenty-six, Mr. President.
Holy cow. No wonder Dreyfus wants that Clouseau killed. He’s a one-man army. Who’s left?
Just the Russian … and the Egyptian.
Nor will the Saudis survive Group A.
The Uruguayans will survive it easily enough – and with one eye upon the first game of Round 2, in which they’ll face either the Portuguese or the Spanish. Those teams will have dispatched the Iranians and Moroccans in Group B.
The other groups are less predictable.
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Group C: Australia, Denmark, France, and Peru. Any of them could advance. This, more than any other, is the group of chokers.
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Group D: Croatia and Iceland … and, for the fifth time in the latest seven World Cups, Argentina together with Nigeria. The Argentinians have always won that fixture. The Croatians and Icelanders also are familiar foes, having played each other in recent qualifiers. A very interesting group.
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Group E: The Brazilians definitely will advance. The Costa Ricans are about as good as they were in the previous World Cup, though less surprisingly so. Serbia and Switzerland have enough talent to get to Round 2. Another interesting group.
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Group F: The Germans are as predictable as their trains. They’ll advance.
The South Koreans also have predictable trains. Their record in World Cups, while less successful than that of the Germans, is just as steady:
In 2002, they advanced out of the group stage.
In 2006, they were eliminated.
In 2010, they advanced.
In 2014, they were eliminated.
This time, they’re due to advance.
Will this World Cup be the Mexicans’ group-stage undoing? They always seem likely to crash out early, and yet they always scrape through to the first knockout round.
Sweden … who knows.
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Group G: This is one wimpy group. The Belgians and English are talented chokers. Still, they should advance past Panama and Tunisia.
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Group H: Japan has extremely reliable trains. Its recent World Cup pattern is the same as South Korea’s. Senegal is one of the most talented teams in Africa. Even so, I’ll lay money on Colombia and Poland not only to advance, but to defeat their Group G opponents in the first knockout round.
And so I conclude my expert analysis.