Birthday bots
From the New York Times:
Arise, analog sportsmen! Defeat your tablet-toting foes! Remember Clint Eastwood! (You know, from Trouble with the Curve.)
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
From the Division of Alumni Affairs and Development (at Cornell):
What the bots didn’t know was that I’d been waiting for this birthday all my life. When I was very young, my favorite number was four. I liked forty-four even better. (Liking something better than one’s favorite thing is a heady concept, like infinity plus one.) I wanted to weigh forty-four pounds; and when I did, I stayed at that weight as long as I could. I couldn’t wait to turn forty-four years old.
Well, yesterday, I did. My dream has come true.
Arise, analog sportsmen! Defeat your tablet-toting foes! Remember Clint Eastwood! (You know, from Trouble with the Curve.)
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
From the Division of Alumni Affairs and Development (at Cornell):
Make a birthday wish, John-Paul! The Clocktower would chime just for you if it could! On your special day, we’re sending you heartfelt wishes from the Hill. Here’s to another amazing year ahead!I got this more circumspect greeting, too:
*Update your info*
*Stay connected*
We would like to wish you a Happy Birthday from the employees at the South Bend Clinic Pharmacy.Sadly, I received no messages from fast food restaurants urging me to claim birthday rewards. (Those, I appreciate.)
What the bots didn’t know was that I’d been waiting for this birthday all my life. When I was very young, my favorite number was four. I liked forty-four even better. (Liking something better than one’s favorite thing is a heady concept, like infinity plus one.) I wanted to weigh forty-four pounds; and when I did, I stayed at that weight as long as I could. I couldn’t wait to turn forty-four years old.
Well, yesterday, I did. My dream has come true.