How to turn down a request
“Edoarda, for my wedding will you please prepare the food?”
“No. I do not cook for the masses.”
“No. I do not cook for the masses.”
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Showing posts from January, 2016
The wedding planner
It hasn’t been so bad at Planet Fitness. I’ve still got plenty of stamina from a couple of years ago, when I weighed forty fewer pounds. Speaking of whales, Martin and I are reading Moby-Dick, one chapter every day. Today is the fourteenth day. You are welcome to read it with us.
I suppose I’d better report some things about my wedding.
It’ll take place on May the Twenty-first.
There is some pressure to change the venue: the guest list is too large for our church. I’m all for casting out a good many of the spectators. But my future in-laws keep on suggesting more spectators to bring in (which is tiresome of them).
Of course, I’d like to include all of our near and distant family and friends – and some enemies, for gloating over – but, in the end, having the wedding at our church is more important to me. (What are Karin’s feelings? I don’t presume to state them.) Besides, after our honeymoon, we might have a casual party for the cast-outs.
I hear them, my detractors. “Only John-Paul would write so cynically about his wedding.” Well, you should have heard what I used to say about weddings, when I thought myself a paragon of rationality. I have become much more marriageable than I used to be.
I suppose I’d better report some things about my wedding.
It’ll take place on May the Twenty-first.
There is some pressure to change the venue: the guest list is too large for our church. I’m all for casting out a good many of the spectators. But my future in-laws keep on suggesting more spectators to bring in (which is tiresome of them).
Of course, I’d like to include all of our near and distant family and friends – and some enemies, for gloating over – but, in the end, having the wedding at our church is more important to me. (What are Karin’s feelings? I don’t presume to state them.) Besides, after our honeymoon, we might have a casual party for the cast-outs.
I hear them, my detractors. “Only John-Paul would write so cynically about his wedding.” Well, you should have heard what I used to say about weddings, when I thought myself a paragon of rationality. I have become much more marriageable than I used to be.
Back to PF
I stopped going to Planet Fitness some time ago. But now I’ve joined again – not as an athlete, but as a humble exerciser. Tonight I’ll make reacquaintance with the treadmill. It should be dreadful. Karin joined last week. She likes to borrow my shorts. It occurs to me that the colors of Planet Fitness are like the colors of our wedding.
Mary is cooking some delicious Indian food, which I can’t eat right now because I have to go to Planet Fitness.
I lost the prompt for my first history assignment. How lame.
The good thing is, now that I’m taking a course at IUSB, I’m eligible again for Amazon Student. My textbooks arrived just one day after I ordered them. Ah yes. This is the life.
Mary is cooking some delicious Indian food, which I can’t eat right now because I have to go to Planet Fitness.
I lost the prompt for my first history assignment. How lame.
The good thing is, now that I’m taking a course at IUSB, I’m eligible again for Amazon Student. My textbooks arrived just one day after I ordered them. Ah yes. This is the life.
Mary and Stephen
Mary: “John-Paul, I need you to look up Stephen’s work number.”
(Stephen is employed by the school district, as a translator.)
I oblige. Mary goes upstairs.
Mary (calling Stephen):
—Aló, buenas tardes …
—Necisito saber: ¿a qué hora salen los niños de la escuela? Es que voy a recoger a mi hijo …
—¿Cómo se llama mi hijo? “Chapo” Guzmán … HEY! Stephen! Stephen!
(Trudges down the stairs.)
“He hung up on me.”
(Stephen is employed by the school district, as a translator.)
I oblige. Mary goes upstairs.
Mary (calling Stephen):
—Aló, buenas tardes …
—Necisito saber: ¿a qué hora salen los niños de la escuela? Es que voy a recoger a mi hijo …
—¿Cómo se llama mi hijo? “Chapo” Guzmán … HEY! Stephen! Stephen!
(Trudges down the stairs.)
“He hung up on me.”
Two things
First, the big announcement. On Friday night I got engaged to Karin.
It’s been lovely! We’re so happy about it! And everybody else, or nearly everybody else, is happy, too!
The wedding date isn’t fixed – we’re considering May, we’re considering July – but we know that the venue will be our church ($0), that our marriage counselor will be our pastor ($0), and that the colors will be yellow and purple (“Like the Lakers?” I ask. “Yes,” says Karin). I’ll be in charge of choosing the placement-card font, among other things. My “best man” will be Stephen; the other groomsmen will be David and Martin.
“It’s just one day,” one wise person told us.
We’ll try to keep that in mind, so as not to over-plan that day. Truth is, I’m more interested in the days and years to follow.
Alex Liu, dear friend, if you’re reading this in China or wherever, please let me know, and I’ll send you an invitation.
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
Now, the littler announcement. I’m taking a history class at IUSB: a seminar on U.S./Latin American foreign relations. The first session was today. The next session will occur in two weeks. The first reading assignment is 180 pages of Adobe Jenson, which I get tired of. But just 15 pp. per day should do the trick.
It’s been lovely! We’re so happy about it! And everybody else, or nearly everybody else, is happy, too!
The wedding date isn’t fixed – we’re considering May, we’re considering July – but we know that the venue will be our church ($0), that our marriage counselor will be our pastor ($0), and that the colors will be yellow and purple (“Like the Lakers?” I ask. “Yes,” says Karin). I’ll be in charge of choosing the placement-card font, among other things. My “best man” will be Stephen; the other groomsmen will be David and Martin.
“It’s just one day,” one wise person told us.
We’ll try to keep that in mind, so as not to over-plan that day. Truth is, I’m more interested in the days and years to follow.
Alex Liu, dear friend, if you’re reading this in China or wherever, please let me know, and I’ll send you an invitation.
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
Now, the littler announcement. I’m taking a history class at IUSB: a seminar on U.S./Latin American foreign relations. The first session was today. The next session will occur in two weeks. The first reading assignment is 180 pages of Adobe Jenson, which I get tired of. But just 15 pp. per day should do the trick.
The jackpot
The jackpot having arisen to $700 million, the Social Studies faculty are teaming up to buy Powerball tickets; if they win, I’ll have to learn how to make copies for a new clientele. I hope the old teachers remember me, their faithful copy boy.
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
Stephen wants me to write about Mad Max: Fury Road, which he took out of the Redbox and broadcast in his house.
I remember thinking, while I was watching it, “This scene is new to me. … This scene is new to me. … A lot of this movie is refreshingly new to me.” (No, I hadn’t seen the other Mad Maxes.) And I admired the Namibian landscape.
In short, it was a very good movie which unfortunately improved my life only a tiny bit.
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
Stephen wants me to write about Mad Max: Fury Road, which he took out of the Redbox and broadcast in his house.
I remember thinking, while I was watching it, “This scene is new to me. … This scene is new to me. … A lot of this movie is refreshingly new to me.” (No, I hadn’t seen the other Mad Maxes.) And I admired the Namibian landscape.
In short, it was a very good movie which unfortunately improved my life only a tiny bit.