Romaniacs, pt. 862: The twins (and their father)

This was how they looked in 2006:

And in 2012 the twins are in middle school, more bashful, more aware of boys. Their openness is gone. Now they stare downward, hair veiling their eyes.

As usual, I give them unsolicited advice:

“When a boy likes you, be nice to him.”

They look up shyly and smile.

(The advice is from the heart, but upon reflection seems incomplete. Perhaps I should have said: “Be nice to the boy — provided he’s not deluded, or narcissistic, or a non-Christian …”)

(Or maybe such provisos are too complicated, or beside the point. Maybe the most effective principle really is, simply, Be Nice.)

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I’ve known these friends since they were infants. They used to be wild but submissive; now they’re quiet but rebellious. Their father suffers constant rejection from them. He bears it cheerfully enough. What could he still teach to such full-minded creatures? They will no longer listen to him: in writing they inform him, “Your pounts are erelivent, your judgmints are too.” What a handicap for a philosopher, to be disarmed of his points and judgments! It would appear that his only recourse is to love.

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We go into a green-carpeted warehouse. This is where the Hispanic girls have their soccer league; the twins (Romaniacs) play for one of the teams. The style of play is pinball. The league’s purpose is to teach girls not to fear the ball, not to shirk from getting blasted in the face. (This happens again and again.)

I am unimpressed. As the twins’ father and I recline in our chairs and watch the bloodbath, I mention girls’ concussion rates. I mention the superior youth training at F.C. Barcelona. He shrugs it all off. Are my points irrelevant? And are my judgments, too?

Better to discuss my friend’s research on forgiveness. Forgiveness is what he thinks about now. This, finally, is worth prioritizing: what forgiveness is, what a forgiving person is. Not what dating is, or debating: those pursuits may have some value, but the fact is, people are alienated from each other more than they realize. Forgiveness must be cultivated first.